blanksmile

Sunday, February 01, 2009

two thousand and eight

hi there! it's the year 2009 now and i remember setting my hands on this blog way back 2 years ago! imagine how time flies! anyway, i'm writing this to give you a brief summary of the past year-2008.



many things have passed, many incidents have happened, some was for my good, some i regreted happening..well anyway, let's start off..



the month i celebrated my 23rd year on this planet.the month when my grandparents' celebrated their 50th year wedding anniversary--january..it all happened in a flash. i'ma tell you what happened coz i know it's worth telling. my cousins were in our house for a vacation, the year was just starting so they were still on a "vacation" mode. my grandma thought they were just there for a vacation ( we went to global fun the night before the surprise wedding celebration and i was sooo dizzy..imagine!) anyway, we made this video presentation of the past years of their married life..in secrecy.. the day came, January 5, 2008, a saturday.. they all thought we were going to moa for a simple get together dinner.. pa said they would just drop by the church to get something, little did they know that everyone was there waiting for them..at last, they came, la was like crying already, the church was filled with flowers and wedding stuff--they were going to have a wedding program! sweet! there were guests everywhere with their semi-formal attire. we had gold motif by the way and mcbc didn't look like what it was supposed to be-it was really like a formal wedding..they were so happy and they were happier when they saw their only daughter standing there with them--tita te straight from cebu whom they haven't seen for ages! well, the wedding ceremony was unforgettable and i think they won't ever forget that!





next, i was in a relationship with this guy which lasted for about a month! imagine..i opened it up to my parents, and they seemed to disagree so they told me to break up with him, i did but i was still attached to him. i dunno, i think i said the 'yes' word because i just pity him. i dunno with myself, i was kinda lost that time.because of the other guy maybe..the fact that he just left me hanging and waiting.i dunno, but it happened so quickly. yes we went out, it was fine, but it did not give me the 'kilig' moments..we also fought during those few weeks that we were together and i found him not to be the one i was comfortable hanging out with, not the one whom i love sharing my stories with.he was shy and i begin the conversation most of the time (which i don't like doing!) . it turns me off when a guy can't stand for his own and has no efforts in making a girl smile at least.. after a long fight, i did not like talking with him and i did not find him that appealing..maybe because i was not really in love with him.





then came the other..here it goes.. my co-worker mentioned to me that there's this guy that visits the office regularly ( a nephew of an indian head here in the office)..well he doesn't look that much indian, more like an arab or iraqi national perhaps.. i think he comes here because the guy supposed to collect was on a leave..anway, it started when an agent told me that 'that guy' was sending his regards to me. yes i see him regularly and find him attractive, but i didn't care that much because i did not personally know him.. and so i replied, "who is he? i think i don't know him" and there it started, we were introduced, we texted, we talked a little when he visits in the morning (it was prohibited!), people started to tease us. i was not that convinced coz i feared that i might get caught and asked to leave..it was march something i forgot, the night before the holy thursday. we went out, but with companions..we ate out somewhere in bf. i went home around 3am..we had our second date alone together at a nearby restaurant in better.. there we chatted and i got to know him a little not knowing that in the end i should have gotten to know him deeply..i introduced him to my classmates, i told them he was my bestfriend! hehe..we went to greenbelt and off to madi's place afterwards. they had karaoke,we just had a talk..we left at about 4am.we stayed in his car and talked until 5am.i missed that moment, just talking with him..i went home around 5:30 am..i didn't sleep anymore. we went to his brother in valenzuela the next day.. he was ok..better than him i think.. so there it goes, dates after dates, i won't go into too much details for i'm trying to move on and forget him. anyway, 6 months passed, i got to know him well (which i think i knew, but wasn't enough).. i was feeling aloof with him already. there didn't come a day that he didn't text me, but to my surprise, 3-5 days passed and still nothing. i was feeling a bit worried at that time coz i had no idea what was happening.. then, it was a monday i remember, he texted me asking if i was ok. so you know how the 'breaking up scene" goes. i don't have time, i want to be alone and concentrate on my work, you're way too better for me, i don't deserve you kind of lines.. i was sad, depressed, and i didn't know what to do that night. i couldn't sleep, i cried on my pillow, i thought of the times we've shared together and the fact that he wasn't there for me anymore.. i went to work the next day as if nothing happened, i couldn't help but cry still, i went halfday..i met up with my friend and shared the sorrow.. he couldn't help..my pain was not relieved.. i went home crying, the weather sympathized with me for it was drizzling.. i couldn't hide it anymore, my eyes were red and puffed up.. i went to my mom and talked with her, i cried still..she shared to me many things and sympathized with me, gave me advice, my dad came and he told me that maybe God is teaching me things that i had to learn this way. even if it was this hard..after those moments, i felt glad and thanked God that i had parents which i can confide to and teach me things which are for my own good.. the next day came, we still talked through text, he didn't want to meet up. through our conversation, i concluded that there was no third party and no other girl involved (i was wrong in the end) everyone was saying there is but i brushed them off thinking he was right. anyway, to continue my story, i got mad at him and texted him foul words which i later on regretted doing..i really really was mad at him..he was blaming me for my "niceness" and told me that we were not compatible.. so there, i felt guilty, i said sorry. there was silence and there was peace.. my friends told me that i shouldn't have said sorry. well, at least i was not at war with somebody.

so much for that..well, that lasted for about six months..we had our singles' camp on october end. then, i had this thingy on my nose which lasted for about two weeks! ahh..i had a plaster strip on my nose! imagine! people were looking at me everywhere i went.hay! i'm glad it's gone now.

december came, as usual, reunions, paskuhan, and stuff which reminds us it's the giving season..we still had contact with each other.he texts me once in a while just to see if i'm ok. i dunno, i keep on replying even i know the fact that he has a girlfriend..thanks to friendster! he even gave his mwuahs to me even though he's committed to somebody else..hay, he's like that i know so i don't take it too seriously.. i'm glad i was able to move on. but i know it's hard and it's even harder forgetting someone whom you usually talk to and shared moments with..i know it's part of growing up and i know some lessons had to be learned.what an experience! even as i write this blog, i still have bits of feelings for him but not that much compared to the past few months. it's been like 4 months now, he still texts me once in a while, quotes and stuff, but i don't reply..to avoid much more heartaches! i forgot to tell something, but i'm gonna write it on the next post for it happened just lately.

so there, so much for 2008. it's been ok, but i know that i regretted some things that i shouldn't have done, just keep it to myself..

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